Children are not confused by hearing more than one language. We have known for a long time that bilingual children separate their language from the age of 2: current research suggests they separate them from the beginning.
People who grow up in bilingual communities like Singapore take bilingualism for granted. Parents typically speak two or three languages to children, and parents and children often mix languages in the same sentence. Mixing languages in the same sentence doesn't confuse children. And if the child mixes languages it is not a sign of confusion. The children learn the complex rules for when to use which language (and when you can use a mixture). They start to demonstrate that they know these rules before they are 2 years old. By the age of 2 we can clearly see that bilingual children faced with a monolingual adult will do their very best to speak in the language the monolingual knows. But remember that a child will not have learnt the same words in both languages: if a child doesn't know a word in a language they want to speak, they may use a word from another language that means the same (many of us use the same technique as adults!): this is nothing to worry about. Indeed, it shows that the child knows how to translate. Don't worry about the child mixing, even if you never mix. You can expect it.
The 'one-parent-one-language' method is sometimes put forward as the only way to raise bilingual children. It isn't. There are many routes to this end. If both parents can speak a minority language then their best strategy might be to speak only the minority language to their children, and let them learn the majority language of the community outside the home. If the family live in a place where everyone is bilingual in the same two languages, then they should behave naturally, switching languages and mixing them as they normally do.
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Is the speech of bilingual children delayed? My 3-year old child makes a lot of mistakes in pronunciation and grammar: is that because she is bilingual?
It used to be suggested that bilingual children were a little slower learning to speak than monolingual children. This is no longer an accepted view. In any case, any such difference would be very small. A bilingual child whose speech is delayed (for example, if they have not said the first word by 18 months) should be treated exactly like a monolingual child. It is dangerous to think that the child's speech is delayed because the child is bilingual. Bilingual children vary from one another just as monolingual children do -- some will be early and some will be late speakers. But all children whose speech is delayed should be assessed by a doctor and (if necessary) a speech-language practitioner, because if the child is deaf, or if there is some reason for the speech delay, it should be dealt with. If your child has hearing or speech-language problems, make sure that any professionals you deal with are supportive of bilingual families. Advice to switch to monolingualism is nearly always wrong advice.
When children are learning to speak they make mistakes in all areas of language. A 'mistake', by the way, is something that adults in the community don't do (examples that work in all dialects of English include: calling a cat a 'dog'; beginning 'cake' with a /t/ sound; saying 'I wented'). 3 year olds have certainly not got it all sorted out. However many languages your child is learning, you can expect pronunciation mistakes, for example, until the age of 6 or 7 years. Don't expect 'perfection' from small children and don't fall into the teacher role of 'correcting' them.
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I am worried that my child will learn my faulty pronunciation. I was educated in French and I am nor confident in my Mother Tongue: can I speak French to my child even though it is not my Mother Tongue?
Professor Ruuskanen regards it as important that parents speak only their mother tongues to their children, in order to foster a native accent. I do not agree: parents should feel free to speak to their children in a language other than their mother tongue. I do think it is important to look after your children in a language in which you are confident, and in which you know a few songs and rhymes. In the communities in which I have studied bilingualism (including my own family), it is common for parents to speak languages they have learned at school to their children. As adults, many people's best language is not their native language, but a language in which they have been educated, and/or which is the dominant language of the community.
Many people in bilingual communities or in mixed marriages need to speak to their child (at least some of the time) in a language which is not their native language. There is nothing at all wrong with doing this. Language shift (moving to a language which is not the language of your ancestry) is a normal part of human behaviour. Some parents worry that they will pass on an 'incorrect' accent to their children. Don't worry about this. Accents change over our childhood and adolescence, and in many people do not stabilise until the early 20s.
Once children start mixing with other children (from the age of 2 or 3) they start to learn their accent from their friends. Parents soon discover that they are not the model for their children's language behaviour, any more than they are the model for their dress sense. Children acquire the language of the children's community they are in. Be prepared for this (you might not like it!).
The hearing children of deaf parents often grow up bilingual too, learning a sign language at home. They begin to model their speech on their parents' faulty pronunciation, but as long as they spend about 10 hours with speakers of oral languages, they seem to have no problem learning an oral language as well, and become indistinguishable from their friends (except for remaining bilingual, of course).
My child refuses to speak our native language. My son just turns his back on me when I speak my language to him -- what should I do?
As Professor Ruuskanen says, it is common for a child brought up in a place with a strong community language to reject a minority one. My own daughter, starting in a trilingual household, rejected everything but English when she was 2. When this happens it is because we have failed to provide the need for the language. In deciding on your reaction, you need think about your relationship with the child as well as about your desire for them to learn a language. My husband felt that he valued his relationship with her more than his language, and switched to English. Other people stick it out and sometimes the child ends up with a good knowledge. All of us have to accept that we cannot control our children's life experiences. They will be their own people and make their own life which will be different from our lives, and which will not be as we envisaged their lives would be. Accepting language shift is part of accepting generational differences. Don't try to control the environment too much, and if things go wrong, be accepting. Other things matter much more.
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